Searching for true self: if meditation is the one way to shut off imagination so that your true self emerges, what if you never meditate and you're certain that the mess that wakes up everyday is the true you? Uh -oh! Not sure embarking on one more ordeal of self discovery is in the cards. Today I confessed I have no desire to return to the center of my family and that is either self serving delusion or confirmation that I was born to be a hermit. Yesterday's disgrace is today's joke. Wallowing in self pity - why is it always wallowing? Do we wallow in discussions about cancer? I can't see myself as a wallower. Oh yes, I divert and I circle the wagons on occasion but wallow?
Today I learned that if our sun was reduced to the size of a single white corpuscle and the Milky Way reduced the same amount, it would be as big as the USA or a Snickers the size of The Donald's comb over. That's not as relevant as the true self thing. In my mind I'm like those saran wrap tube tops - full discovery for all interested eyes. But if I'm really a reincarnated sea horse, maybe I can still get pregnant. Our 10th president, John Tyler's grandson still plays tennis and likes the lay-deesso longevity is a cherished anomaly. Like the old guy who was asked "what's your wife's favorite flower?" and he answered "Pillsbury, I guess".