Today we'll be looking at Beyond the Periphery by yours truly. The topic is dingleberries and like all these formulaic fake epistles, there are best practices touted by successful famous people with dingleberries. Here they are the 7 (it's always seven) most beneficial recommendations we've assembled:

1) - the hand held shower is your muse Fretting over something as trivial as the dingles thwarts your inner genius so let that morning hose off splash away your blockage of the brilliance you possess.
2) - always squirm when taking that eye test that determines if you have macular degeneration The dingles can make you miss a dot or two on the screen - squirm and use it as an excuse if the test shows that you've failed
3) - Frequently adjust the hang in your boxer shorts. Theorists believe wrong sided hang can intensify the you-know-what-I'm-sayin' feelings.
4) - keeping Telluride as your bucket list choice of visitations to-be No explanation on this one.
5) - never use the dingles as your "I can top that" in discussions about cancer
some call this "white people problems" - accept your blessings that are devoid of real problems and show it in your conversations with people that have heavy shit to deal with.
6) - the blend of Dr.Teals and sea salt/citrus/oil is the supreme soak. This is a BIG one - look, man, dingles need soaking and trust me - this is the soak that Fisher Price wants to patent.
7) - never let them know you shart sometimes when you sneeze the give-away, the reveal, the clincher for losing your audience - - sharting happens, deal with it.

There you have it - lighten up a little . . . .
There was a drunk walking down the street, and he walks up to a cop and says, "Man, somebody stole my car." And the cop says, "Where was it?" And the drunk says, "It was right on the end of this key." And the cop says, "I dunno, you should go down to the station and file a report." So, the drunk starts walking away, but the cop stops him and says, "Before you go to the station, you should zip up your fly." The drunk looks down and says, "Aww man... they got my girl, too!"

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean